Utah County Prop 8 Events This Week (+ Musings)

Young single adults (mostly students) in the area have organized some events this week for Prop 8. These are being held on BYU campus, but have no official association with the school -- they are all student-organized activities.

Every day: There will be a booth set up to get CA residents who are living in the area registered to vote and registered for an absentee ballot. The deadline is coming up VERY soon. The booth will be by the West doors of the Wilkinson Center from 11-2 every day. They will have absentee registration card and voter registration cards. If you know anyone in the area who is a CA resident in Utah County and needs to vote, this would be a great place to send them. People can also come help run the booth.

Tuesday (that would be today!): Blogging blitz. Meet in rooms 4824 and 4826 of the Lee library. The idea is to have groups get onto various sites, news stories, etc. and make comments to help people understand why we are supporting Prop 8. More information can be found here.

Wednesday: Speaker and phone banks. At 7pm in the Terrace of the Wilkinson Center (by the Cougareat), Beverly Rice, president-elect of United Families International (UFI), will be speaking. UFI has donated all the money we have needed for this effort. She will be talking about why Prop 8 is so important and monumental. Food and phone banks will follow her address.

Thursday: Phone bank from 7-10pm in room 3222 of the Wilk.

There are many ways we can each get involved in this grassroots campaign as our leaders have encouraged. Tell your friends about Prop 8. Share the new website the Church has created (one of the videos from that site is in my sidebar). Talk about it on Facebook. Write on your blogs. Encourage those you know in CA to vote to support Prop 8.

My musing for the day: I think something that is so important is to make is so very clear that we are not supporting Proposition 8 out of hate or a lack of love. We need to help people understand that we who support Proposition 8 love and care about our gay brothers and sisters. As the Church's website, preservingmarriage.org, states: "We can love someone while still maintaining and advocating our standards and beliefs."

One way we can help people know this is to vocalize our support of the Church's position AND our love and concern for our gay brothers and sisters and their families. Silence in either way can leave people wondering. Let's let our voices be heard, both in support of traditional marriage, but also in support of those who are gay. We *can* do both. And we need to. It's what the Savior would do. Our leaders have made this clear. The Savior always held up and defended and taught the truth, boldly and without apology. But He was there, loving and supporting and reaching out to those who were cast aside by others in society. Let us NEVER be someone who casts people aside. But let our unequivocal position about traditional marriage and morality NEVER be equated with a lack of love. And let us never give someone reason to make that association.

Church's new site on protecting marriage: preservingmarriage.org

I had the unique opportunity to listen to the broadcast of Elder Ballard, Elder Cook (both of the Quorum of the Twelve), and Elder Clayton (of the Presidency of the Seventy) tonight as they addressed the issue of protecting marriage in California with Prop 8. What a powerful, powerful meeting! They made it so very clear that it is an opportunity and a responsibility to defend and sustain marriage, and thus to defend and sustain the plan and kingdom of God.

Make no mistake; there is clarity and unity about this issue among the prophets of God. With all the recent (and intense and direct!) talk of the need for us to be unified as a Church, I wish there was a way to communicate how important I have felt it is for us as members of the Church to stand with our leaders and respond to their invitation however we can. Their position is unequivocal and very, very clear. This is a call to action, perhaps unprecedented, with the potential to impact generations to come.

We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

As part of their desire to support us in defending traditional marriage however we can, they have created a new website, preservingmarriage.org. Take a look and spread the word!

Even if you are not of my faith, I invite you to consider this issue carefully. In my meager attempt to 'do what I can,' over the next while, I will share some of my thoughts on this topic and why I feel so strongly that marriage should remain between a man and a woman. There are many, many reasons beyond just my faith, even as that certainly has played a role in my position on this issue.

I have a renewed desire to do all I can to sustain, support, and protect marriage as it has always been -- between a man and a woman. I invite you to do the same.

A poignant and powerful post about service, love, and the Relief Society

This post by Ardis Parshall is well worth a read. You might need a tissue.

Transcripts Available for Relief Society Meeting/Broadcast

Seriously, I love the Church. They got these transcripts up in a hurry. [Pres. Uchtdorf's was not up last nite when I posted this. It is now available and I have added the link below.)

Sister Julie B. Beck
Sister Silvia H. Allred
Sister Barbara B. Thompson
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

And, if you haven't already, you just have to check out the new and improved way they have consolidated all of the broadcast information, including audio and video streams, into one place.

And, to top it all off, we've got access to a new player that monitors your connection to give you the best streaming possible, and gives you other options, including instant access to talks that have been recently broadcast, and other video archives.

I love the blessing of the internet and how the Church is using it to bless us all.

Dealing with Differences with Compassion and Love

Recently, Elder Marlin K. Jensen talked in a regional conference about how our Church culture is sometimes not very accepting of those whose lives don't conform to doctrinal ideals. For example, there are those who are single or divorced; there are those who struggle with same-sex attraction; others deal with depression or other mental illness. The list of ways that people may feel 'different' can go on and on. Truth be told, we are all different in one way or another, and we all need compassion where our lives don't meet the ideal.

But at the same time, Elder Jensen reminded us that our mortal weaknesses and differences do not change the ideal, the doctrine.

I want to use this as a springboard for something I have been thinking about. There is an interesting dynamic that I have seen repeatedly on the internet. When a person takes a position on a topic, it's not uncommon for others who disagree to then assume or assert that that person is uncaring, unloving, or insensitive. Sometimes that may be true (again, our culture falls short of the ideal sometimes), but often, such judgments themselves are unfair and unkind.

This is on my mind for various reasons. One is that I have clearly taken a position on Proposition 8. It wasn't too long ago in a discussion elsewhere on this topic that a gay Mormon basically said that it was members like me (people who support Proposition 8, for example) who somehow make it harder for gay Mormons to want to live.

The heartache evident in this person's comment (and others that I have read elsewhere) tore at my own heart. I cannot adequately express the concern and compassion I have for gay Mormons who feel caught between their attractions and their needs/desires for companionship and family on one hand, and their desires to be members of the Church on the other. I have *very* strong feelings about the urgent need to have our culture be a place where people struggling with this or other less-than-ideal issues can feel more safe, more able to reach out for help in sharing their load.

As Elder Jensen noted, our culture is not yet there. I hope that talks like his will continue, and will prick our hearts so that we can all be more willing to reach out to those who struggle (with any number of things from homosexuality to addiction to less-than-ideal family situations to even different opinions).

But there is that other side of this coin. Ideals, doctrine, prophetic counsel all do exist. As much as people want to have it be otherwise, these things are really not up for grabs. We can each choose how we respond to these things, but we don't have the authority to change or dismiss what prophets teach.

In addition, a problem I have seen is that sometimes in the broader culture, and even in the Church, people want to demand that the only way to show compassion is to change or renounce position or belief. But this cannot be. We cannot expect others to 'prove' their love, concern, and compassion by expecting them to change their beliefs to match or validate our own.

I realize that in our mortal state, we all have to figure out (through study, prayer, experience, pondering) what we believe to be right, good, and true. Also, because of our mortality, we will all fall short of the ideal in one way or another. That means that there will be differences in both opinion about, and execution of, various teachings, counsel, and doctrine.

But please, let's be sure that we don't equate difference (or even personal definitiveness or decision) with disdain. I believe it is possible to hold to ideals -- and also to have and maintain different opinions -- and still have compassion and love in our hearts.

I believe the closer we come to and follow the Savior, and the more we trust in His love for us, the more that is possible. He is the perfect example of that balance between unbending devotion to truth and doctrine, and unending ability to love, forgive, and succor.

More Prop 8 Links

I remembered tonite about these articles (LOTS!) from a BYU Law Conference (again I haven't read them all, but again, I like to have resources all in one place for my own sake...hoping they might be of interest to others who are interested in considering reasons why Proposition 8 is a good idea):

Articles in text

This is an article I have linked to before, but I thought I would bring it up again. It was cited in the Church's document ("The Divine Institution of Marriage")

Digging Deep

Everything within screams for rest, for solitude, even for escape. The headache that began a week and a half ago continues, not wanting to loosen its C-clamp-like grasp on my brain. The dizziness is sometimes almost unbearable. And yet, as single momma for the month while hubby is away, I must stay plugged in. (I will say that having hubby out of town makes me appreciate single moms so much. I don't know what to say except I don't know how you do it, and you have my respect and heartfelt love for what you do. And I'm sorry you are having to do this alone, because I know, I am reminded lately, that it is so very hard.)

Even when my husband is home, motherhood and homemaking is work. Hard work. For me, there is often much that is not 'natural' about it. I'm not a natural housekeeper. I'm not really a natural with young children. My 'natural' self wants to be out working, or curled up in my bed devouring a book, or lying on the couch with my laptop, or connecting with people and just talking about life and the gospel until I'm hoarse.

Or, on nights like tonight, my natural self wants to curl up in a ball and cry, simply from sheer exhaustion, from wanting and needing someone to nurture me. But my children need me. And so I press forward.

Lately, I've been quite flabbergasted by how much it takes to coordinate my children's little lives (and we work to keep life simple!), to keep them fed and clothed and on top of their homework enough that they don't completely embarrass themselves (or me...yes, I'm still working on not having my ego tied up in my children's lives), and to try keep my house from always looking like a tornado hit it. (From a recent discussion with my children (OK, it was more like a mini-lecture): "Please, guys, just don't play in the living room. Just give me one room in the house that isn't a disaster! I'm starting to lose it!")

But there's more than that that has the potential to overwhelm me. My role as mother and nurturer demands much more than just keeping us all going physically. (Much more, actually.) Those little moments when they need help with this and I'm wanting to do that are often the most difficult parts of my days. There are times when I feel like I will drown if I don't stay on top of my to-dos (or that I will die if I don't have a moment of solitude), but I sense that they need me now. Those little moments can mean the world to them; the cumulative effect of lots of little moments is what can help shape their perception of my love for them and of their value as individuals.

Don't get me wrong. I'm so often not good at seizing those little moments. And I am not saying that moms can't or shouldn't ever have a break. But I am really feeling the need to do more of the "little moments" work that is so easy to dismiss. And just as with all the other elements of homemaking, nurturing is work. Even as I love my children with a fierceness that sometimes hurts, I struggle in my humanness to give them what they deserve and need. (A post for another day could be about how it seems that in a way, the older they get, the more they need me.)

I stood tonight, yet again, over the sink, rinsing dinner dishes while trying to orchestrate the children's remaining evening tasks. Within, I could feel the the seeds of an eruption bubbling beneath the surface. I fought that part of my natural self, fought it hard. I exerted all I had to try to speak with kindness, love, gentleness, patience, and attentiveness. As I did so, it was as if I could feel the roots of my soul digging a little deeper. I could feel just a few more rough notches on my character losing some of their edginess.

I was reminded tonight that I am doing this motherhood thing -- giving so much of my life and self and time and energy -- not just because the children need me (which they do, imperfect as I am), but because I need them. I need to be their mom, to learn to overcome my natural self. This role is teaching me new depths of faith and love and sacrifice and endurance, and helping me feel new depths of God's love and grace and refining power.

-------
From one of my favorite talks on motherhood, by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn't measure up or somehow wasn't going to be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet--all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like "goo goo." Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.

But one thing, she said, keeps her going: "Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God's work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.

"It is this realization," she says, "that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious," she said, "and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea," she concludes. "It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense."

And one more from Pres. Packer that has always stayed with me:

A sister may finally come to see why we stress the importance of mothers staying at home with their children. She understands that no service equals the exalting refinement which comes through unselfish motherhood. Nor does she need to forgo intellectual or cultural or social refinement. Those things are fitted in—in proper time—for they attend the everlasting virtue which comes from teaching children.

No teaching is equal, more spiritually rewarding, or more exalting than that of a mother teaching her children.

Supporting Traditional Marriage/Proposition 8: Links and Resources

I wanted to keep track of the different resources of which I have become aware, and figured this would be a good place to do it so that others can have access to them, too. If you know of more good resources, please let me know. (Edit: Disclaimer -- I haven't read all of the links, so I'm not necessarily saying I advocate every thing that is said in the posts below. Even still, I think it is valuable to consider the thoughts of different people who support the proposition. I have added some of my thoughts about ones I have read below.)

I've already written about this article, which talks about how those not in California can help by making phone calls to assess voter sentiment.

The folks over at Millennial Star are compiling a list of articles, videos, websites, personal experiences, etc. * on this topic. Thanks, all!

Following are links that people have sent me:

Website created by people in CA which includes links to editorials, court cases, social science studies, etc.

LA Times Op-Ed piece: "Protecting Marriage to Protect Children" (written by a liberal Democrat, no less -- this to me is one of the best articles I have read in terms of how it explores the importance of traditional marriage for children)

A detailed analysis of the issue, complete with talking points (to be honest, this one is a bit too strident/confrontational for my liking, but it still brings up some important points)

Website created by those working on Proposition 8 in the Poway area
(includes forms, presentations by local people involved in the effort, a PDF to the pamphlet created for the campaign, talking points, and more)


There may be more, but for now, that's a start.

*I thought I would reproduce the list here, too.

Statements from the LDS Church:

The Divine Institution of Marriage

LDS Church Expresses Disappointment in California Gay Marriage Decision

General Information:

Townhall Meetings Turn Out Supporters Statewide

Young Adults and Liberals Struggle with Morality

iProtectMarriage.com

YesonProposition8.com

Yesformarriage.com

New Study Shows Polling Significantly Understates Support for Traditional Marriage

Couple fight gender-neutral language in wedding license

Video:

Proposition 8

Media:

Prop 8 supporters go door-to-door

Church members leading the fight for Prop 8

Cal. polls understate support for Prop. 8

Liberal Democrat opposes SSM, supports Prop. 8

The California Supreme Court decision is arrogant and confused

“We have banished morality from serious public discourse”

Judicial overreach

Destroying the institution of marriage is only the beginning

Gay marriage opponents are not giving up

The “discrimination” claim is completely bogus

It is extremely clear that children do best when raised by a mother and a father

More children being raised by a mother and a father lowers the crime rate

There is very little long-term demand for marriage among gays and lesbians

Divorce is much more common among same-sex couples

Evidence from northern Europe (which has had SSM the longest) shows that legalized SSM leads to an overall destruction of marriage as an institution in general. There is a direct correlation between the prevalence of SSM and co-habitation, the rise of legal polyamory, an increase of children born out of wedlock and a slippery slope of moral decay.

Personal experience:

The My Girl Bill

California Saints are Heeding the Call

Why we are involved in Prop. 8

Pics of the Nemo Wall

I figured it out! Firefox wasn't letting me do pics, but Explorer did!



So....here are a couple of pics of the playroom wall (hard to get a good angle since the room is small). She has done whole walls before, too. But this can give you an idea of her talent. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see the gift idea post here). And be sure to check out more samples of her work can be found on her blog.)

Christmas Gift Idea!

It's getting close to that time -- time to think about what to give the people on your list. (There are also lots of weddings that come up at the end of the year, too.)

What do you give someone who has everything? Have you ever considered custom art and portraits as an option?

fit your house with a certain color scheme or subject. you can give the priceless lifelong gift of turning your loved ones into a work of art. capturing your children wheMelissa specializes in portraiture and turning your favorite photo (people or scenery or places or objects) into a work of art, either color or black and white. If you choose color, she can customize the colors to match your décor.

But she can do just about anything. She does murals (I have an underwater Nemo scene on my kids' playroom wall -- you wouldn't believe it, and I'd show you if I could get Blogger to let me upload pics. Email me if you want to see it.) She's done logos. She's done the cover of a technical journal. She even personalized a pair of leather shoes!

If you are wondering what to get that person in your life who has everything, or what kind of wedding gift you could give that will last a lifetime and beyond (and wouldn't be returned!), or what to give yourself to capture your memories or your children or something else precious to you, contact Melissa. You won't be disappointed.

(And as the wife of a busy dental student who just lost his on-the-side job and SAHM of two little kids, she'd be grateful.)

*Mention this blog post and you will get either 10% off the total or free shipping! And anyone you refer will get the same deal! Spread the word!

Even if you don't live in CA, you can help with Prop 8

As you are well aware, many people in California are walking precincts and making phone calls to help assess voter sentiment about Proposition 8, and to talk to those who may not know much about it.

This effort is NOT intended to change anyone's mind or opinion. It is simply to find out how people are feeling about the issue, to answer questions if someone has them, and to invite those who support Proposition 8 to get involved and to vote when the time comes in November.

Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have asked its members to do what they can to support Proposition 8. (Some reasons for the Church's position on this can be found here.)

How can we do this if we don't live in CA?

One thing we can do, of course, is donate to the coalition the Church has joined. You can do so here.

Did you also know that people outside of California can actually get involved in the assessment and communication process by making phone calls? If you are interested in joining in this effort, you can find out more here. [Edited to keep a focus on pointing others somewhere where the effort is organized on a larger scale.]

And I will say this: I will admit it; there was a part of me that breathed a sigh of relief with the fact that I don't live in California. (I walked precincts in 2000. It was hard.) But since I believe this is an issue that affects us all, and that the decision in CA will have a significant impact on the rest of the nation, I feel it's important for me to get involved. I invite you to consider getting involved, too.

One last note: Proposition 8 is not an anti-gay effort. It is a pro-marriage effort. Please respect my choice to support the effort to keep marriage between a man and a woman. I respect your choice to do something different. But don't misinterpret or misrepresent my choice (or the Church's position) as a lack of love or concern for gay people, because that is simply not true.

You are free to share your thoughts about this topic here, but I do moderate comments, so please keep comments respectful and relevant.

Family History, You Can Do-oo It!

Sing this to the tune of "Family History, I am Doing It" --

Family history, you can do-oo it,
Your family history.
Cuz Ardis, on her blog, Keepapitchinin, has made it
Easy as can be!
She's giving lessons there, teaching basic tips,
Read lesson one, two, and three.
She's an expert and she'll help you
Start your family history!

Seriously, getting this kind of step-by-step help from someone like Ardis is an amazing thing! Feel free to ask her questions, and give her feedback, so she knows how this information is helping people.

And I believe there will be more lessons to come, so stay tuned. Thanks, Ardis!

New Food Storage Blog!

I have had a couple of people contact me with recipes and lots of other great ideas on food storage. We have decided to pull together our ideas on a new blog. (The URL is mormonfoodstorage.blogspot.com, but of course, food storage isn't just for Mormons, and the content will be much broader than just Church-related material.)

Sara R. has already posted three posts, and OkieDokie has some great ideas brewing. I will likely transfer some, if not all, of the content on my three-month storage blog. This blog will include information related to all aspects of food storage, not just the three-month supply.

If you are a food storage fan and have ideas you want to share, let us know. And if you have ideas, links, resources, tools, organization tips, or whatever else, come comment and share. The more the merrier!

Prayers Needed

I have spent the last few minutes reading cjane's blog about her sister and husband who were survivors of a small plane crash. Stephanie and Christian Nielson suffered severe burns and will likely be in the hospital for months. They There are some wonderful things happening to help support them and their family (they have small children) through this difficult time. A recent fast was held, and they would appreciate prayers in their behalf.

Please remember them in your prayers. If you feel so inclined, you can also use the button below to donate to help with medical bills and other expenses.

Learning from Nephi: Trial and Error

I hate not being perfect.

So, I know it's the plan and all, to learn by our experience, but, you know, sometimes it's just plain hard.

I have been sorting through some difficult decisions as of late. The kind where I feel like I *really* don't want to make a mistake (you know that kind, I'm sure, because we all have them). I *thought* I was heading in a good direction, but then I figured out that maybe it wasn't really the right direction. (Or maybe things had changed and I needed to try a different approach. But still, it can get frustrating to not feel like, "YEAH! This is IT!") It truly is a line upon line time in my life (you probably know what I mean there, too, because I think we all have those as well).

I have been studying Nephi a lot lately. Like reading and re-reading First Nephi. I even went to a musical during Education Week (thanks to my friend who had an extra ticket), and that got me reflecting on him all the more.

I've learned boatloads from Nephi (ha! no pun intended), but here I want to share what I learned this week. I learned that sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right.

And guess what? Maybe that's ok.

Nephi and his brothers were commanded to go back to Jerusalem to get the plates of brass. (A whole different post could be written on why they weren't able to get them before they left. The Lord indeed works in mysterious ways, and saving time and effort and reducing pain and struggle is not always His primary purpose for us. Note to self....)

Of course I need not let you know how many times I have read First Nephi. (Who hasn't? After all, it's the first chapter in a book we always recommit to reading, right? What's that joke about First Nephi being the most-oft-read book of scripture?...)

But this time, reading about the three different attempts hit me in a different way than it ever has. (I love the scriptures and how this happens. Often.)

The first two attempts to get the plates really failed quite miserably. The brothers were in physical danger, and ended up losing their property. Laman and Lemuel were not only ready to go back to their father; by the failure of the second attempt, they were angry, and started beating Nephi and Sam.

Yet another post (or many posts) could be written about Nephi's amazing patience, his faith, his reliance on scripture and on God's promises to ground him, and the extremely difficult commandment he was eventually given to kill Laban (and how he worked through his initial reaction and the repeated commands he was given). There are amazing lessons in all of these things (and more).

But for now, I wanted to focus on the message that came to me RIGHT when I needed it this week: That sometimes it takes trial and error to figure out what the right solution is. And that's okay. That didn't mean that Nephi was evil. It didn't mean that the Lord wasn't there. Perhaps it just meant that the Lord gave him room to try a few different things, to exercise his agency, to learn what worked in that situation and what didn't. And perhaps to learn to rely on the Lord all the more. Because of his faith, Nephi believed that in spite of his weakness, the Lord would guide and help him. And the result of that faith was that he gained some knowledge. He learned more about how God works. He learned that exercising faith is not a vain exercise. He learned a lot about why the scriptures were so important, and he probably learned a little about himself.

But not giving up, he figured out what was Right, and he probably learned a lot more along the way.

This little lesson has caused me to reflect, once again, on the fact that the Lord is there and the Atonement is there so that we don't have to be perfect on the first try. And even as we trust in Him, we won't always figure everything out perfectly, but we can get there if we don't give up and continue to trust in Him. He has given us space and the mercy necessary to learn from trial and error, if we will but "be faithful to him" -- to exercise our faith until we have figured out the next step. Sometimes that is all we will be given. One step at a time.

Lead, Kindly Light....
I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me.
(Hymns, #97)

Survey about the Ensign

Have you always wanted to give feedback about Church magazines, but just never known how? Right now they have made it really easy. Click here and fill out a survey about the Ensign. (Hat tip to Julie at T&S -- this was in their sidebar.)

Share Your Food Storage Ideas and Recipes Online!

This news story was interesting to read...people are using YouTube and other online vehicles to share about food storage, and people are paying attention. In fact, the Church's Public Affairs department has recently made a request that members share in this way. In these hard economic times, the principles of provident living can be helpful for anyone, regardless of their religious affiliation.

So, if you have some ideas, go find a way to share them!

p.s. You can see some of my food storage recipes here. (This is a site I created when I was emergency preparedness coordinator in my ward. Our ward was split, so that calling didn't last long. I haven't updated it in a while, so feel free to send me recipes if you have some you would like to share there. We could make it a group effort!)

Ideality vs. Reality

(I also posted this at Blogger of Jared, so you can send comments that way.)

As a trying-to-recover perfectionist, I will admit that it's always been difficult for me to process the ideal when I know that my reality is often so far from the ideal. I have spent a good portion of my life feeling like I am never enough. I have been known to have General Conferences end, finding myself feeling simply buried in my inadequacy. Actually, sometimes a whole lot less than an entire weekend of General Conference can do that to me.

I know I am not alone.

Sister Beck's talk has been the topic of conversation, again. That talk spurred more reaction that anything I have seen in my decade+ of online discussions about gospel topics.

I should say that loved her talk. I loved her boldness and clarity. I love the power of clear and pure direction that can help keep me centered in a world that is constantly shifting.

That doesn't mean, however, that I have always found it easy to hear all the things I should be doing to really be the kind of woman God wants me to be. There have been many times when I have sobbed from the pain of my imperfection. But I felt the Lord prepared me for this talk. He helped me know that He knew the specifics of my life, and that I didn't need to do all the ideal all at once.

The teaching about housework (which, if you look at it, was more about teaching and helping children grow and progress than about keeping a clean house for cleanliness’ sake) could have sent me in one of those spirals, but it didn't. Why? Because I had had some personal inspiration about how and why I could make some improvements. And because of that, I knew that God knew about my specific situation and frustration (health issues, a weakness in the cleanliness area, and great insecurity about these things). As such, I was able to take Sister Beck's counsel as just that -- counsel. The specifics of what to do about that counsel had already come to me from God, so I didn't need to beat myself up needlessly about my weakness and inadequacy and imperfection. I could just pick up from where I was and try to do better, in ways that HE showed me!

(Just for the record, my house is still often a mess, but the end result of a clean house is not my goal right now. The process is what I'm engaged in. "Progression, not perfection" is a new motto.)

That personal experience taught me a lot about processing ideals. I think it's really easy to feel like the exception, because in a sense, most of our lives are exceptions in one way or another. I want to ask, honestly and really and truly: How many of us really feel like our lives fit the ideal? By the show of hands?

I thought so. :)

Think about it. How many people do you know who got married just at the right time, to the perfect person; had kids in succession when they wanted them to come; had no health issues with themselves or their kids; have a family where everyone willingly goes to church never yells or fails at anything, where everyone grows up happy and united, where all are temple worthy and returned missionaries, etc. etc.

Whatever, right?

Sure, there are some few whose lives have gone pretty smoothly. (So far, anyway.) (Either that, or we really don't know what's really going on in their lives.)

I have talked to women who are divorced, who are trying to figure out how to have a marriage with men who have addictions and/or serious sins, who are single (I've been there myself, too), who want more kids and can't have them (that would be me as well), or who have more kids than they feel they can handle, who have other individual struggles that leave their lives significantly short of the ideal.... We all know these people -- or perhaps more likely ARE these people, living some less-than-ideal something.

As such, we all can feel the pain of unfulfilled or even shattered dreams, and sometimes can also feel neglected, either because we do often focus on ideals in the church, and/or because people use these ideals as measuring sticks for our worthiness or worth. Or worse, we use them on ourselves.

But guess what? That's not how things work. Or rather, that's not how the Lord works. And I think talks on "the ideal" can give us the opportunity to really learn what His love and help and mercy and guidance can mean and be in our lives...to really learn how to become.

Sure, we have ideals to strive for. We should be constantly seeking to improve and seeking to be changed. But that's the thing. We aren't supposed to be able to do it all on our own, all at once, or even all in mortality. If we could actually live the ideal completely on our own, how on earth would we learn how to turn to God and live, to let the Atonement actually do what it was fulfilled to do?

I have pondered Elder Holland's words from the most recent WW Leadership Broadcast, and I think they are ever-so-important to remember.

Now, I hope this helps you understand why we talk about the pattern, the ideal, of marriage and family when we know full well that not everyone now lives in that ideal circumstance. It is precisely because many don’t have, or perhaps have never even seen, that ideal and because some cultural forces steadily move us away from that ideal, that we speak about what our Father in Heaven wishes for us in His eternal plan for His children.

Individual adaptations have to be made as marital status and family circumstances differ. But all of us can agree on the pattern as it comes from God, and we can strive for its realization the best way we can.

We who are General Authorities and general officers are called to teach His general rules. You and we then lead specific lives and must seek the Lord’s guidance regarding specific circumstances. But there would be mass confusion and loss of gospel promises if no general ideal and no doctrinal standard were established and, in our case today, repeated. We take great strength in knowing the Lord has spoken on these matters, and we accept His counsel even when it might not be popular.

The very fact that he said this to me tells us how very AWARE they are of all of us in our less-than-ideal lives -- be we single, married, with children, childless, with healthy family relationships and fulfilled dreams or lives of utter pain and chaos. But that doesn't change the fact that they simply HAVE to keep focusing on the ideal, because otherwise that pattern could be lost in all the exceptions and the cultural chaos surrounding what family and marriage is vs. what it is supposed to be.

Sister Dew addressed this challenge at Women's Conference as well:

"In this audience are sisters coping with every situation imaginable. Some of you have never been happier. Others are grappling with unseen ordeals, weeping into your pillows at night, then putting on a brave smile and facing another day. I know. I've experienced both.

It is because of the range of our experiences that we as women can be a tough crowd. We sometimes pounce if a speaker doesn't say just what we want to hear. But here is the reality: We each have our customized opportunities to deal with disappointment, yet our disappointments don't change the doctrine....None of our lives are perfect, and neither are we. Nonetheless, in the spirit of not offending or overwhelming one another, it can be tempting to water down the message."

In the end, no matter where we are in life right now, our goal is eternal life, which includes eternal family relationships. But that doesn't come necessarily through ideal family relationships here. In fact, more and more, I think the challenge is to learn to accept the ideals without being paralyzed by them. To learn to let our imperfect lives and selves, painful as they are, turn us to God. To make the most of the life He has given us, be it close to ideal or far from it.

I believe God expects us to learn to turn to Him to figure out what it means to strive for the ideal as best as we can. Right now. We can do that, line upon line, regardless of what our specifics look like. He doesn't judge us in a vacuum against the ideals (which is sometimes hard to remember because that is how we often judge ourselves and others). He will take us wherever we are, and help us take the next step, if we will turn to Him.

I am coming to really feel that if I rely on the leaders to do all of that exception-managing and specifics-acknowledging for me, I am missing out on really learning to lean on Him. I believe our general leaders care deeply, and will continue to seek for ways to address a worldwide church while acknowledging how much variation there is in our lives. But that's the point. There is just too much variation for them to address at the level any of us really need for our pain and struggles! And I think it's unfair to expect that of them. The LORD is the Source of our customized counsel, and we will find more peace, power, perspective, and progress if we learn to take the ideals and turn to Him.

I say that with conviction because I am experiencing this in my life right now. I feel that one thing the Lord is teaching me in my less-than-ideal life, with my imperfect self, is that when I choose to really turn to HIM for that support I sometimes wish I had for my specifics and exceptions (from leaders or others).... Wow. I have had some really powerful experiences lately that have helped me know that HE IS THERE and that He can help me see specific guidance in the general principles that are taught by prophets, both ancient and modern. I don't need to hear my specific situations and struggles addressed to learn how to process the ideal in my less-than-ideal reality. That's not always easy, but it's an exercise in faith that is helping me grow and feel His love and power in amazing ways.

The Savior sacrificed His life so that I don't have to beat myself up with ideals. When I hear the Lord's servants teaching the ideals, I am learning to remind myself that they aren't beating me over the head, either. In the end, they are inviting me to take the ideals and then take my less-than-ideal life and self to God and see what He wants me to do now to keep pressing forward steadfastly toward the ideal -- an ideal that will only be possible through the Savior as I turn my life over to Him.

Yes, men and women who turn their lives over to God will find out that he can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life to God will find he has eternal life.

-Pres. Ezra Taft Benson (Ezra Taft Benson, “Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expectations,” Tambuli, May 1977, 20)

Tribute

Grandma passed away yesterday, peacefully, finally. I'm grateful I was able to see her last year. I'm grateful that she is done and her suffering is over, but I am sad that I will no longer be able to talk to her or see her in this life.

Following is something I wrote today, in response to my father's request for remembrances of Grandma.

I am grateful for the legacy Grandma has left -- for fun memories, for the love and treasure of family, and for her faith and testimony that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and beyond.

Fun: When I think of Grandma, I think of Grandma and Grandpa's house, and of course, that means fun times. I think of fun memories of vacations to California, of family reunions, of the joy of being together. There was never a shortage of activities, music, food, and good time together. I remember a fun-filled week when just my sister and I got to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house, to be the center of her attention. Our extended family has FUN when we are together, and Grandma opened her home and heart to facilitate the fun.

Family: When I think of Grandma, I think of the importance of family and of love. I always knew Grandma loved me. Even as distance meant that we didn't see each other often, she did things to express and show her love. She celebrated us on birthdays and other special occasions, wrote cards that I still have and treasure. She came to my wedding. Whenever we did see her, she always showed us her love through her actions and her words, showed us that family matters to her. I will always treasure sitting next to her last year, seeing her smile as she could hear the sounds of little ones around her, and seeing how much she wished she had more to give, wished that she could see and really be part of all that was going on. Oh, how she loves her family!

Faith: Perhaps most importantly, when I think of Grandma, I think of faith. I remember (and still have) a little lavender book of Bible verses given to me when I was baptized, with her firm and vibrant testimony written lovingly within. I remember Grandma and Grandpa's mission and the faithful letters they sent, and my mission and the faithful letters I received (all written by Grandma, if I recall). More recently, I remember watching her fulfill her calling as chorister while visiting her ward, even as the effects of age were obviously taking their toll. Through the past few years, she has not been afraid to talk about how difficult getting old has been, but I have seen her endure with patience and with faith. In one of my last moments with her last year, I gingerly fed her spoonfuls of yogurt and tried to communicate the love and honor that we feel as her posterity. She humbly and simply turned the praise to God, recognizing His love and goodness. Even now, as I recall that moment, tears come to my eyes, and my heart fills with gratitude for this good and faithful woman whom I am blessed to call my grandma.

God be with you 'til we meet again, Grandma. I love you.

That Amazing Book, The Book of Mormon

There are certain things about my belief as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I wish I could package and share with others. Of course, I know that that would defeat the purpose of life for others -- after all, we each have to learn from our own experiences, to find our own way, to come to know God and truth and light on our own. But wow. If I could package how I feel about The Book of Mormon.... There really aren't words to describe it all. But I will say this.

It's not just a bunch of words on a page.
It's not just a history, although I believe it is that.
It's not something that will be discovered through the intellect alone. The Holy Ghost is key to really loving it and understanding it and knowing it's true.
It is, like the Bible, a book of scripture, with the purpose of teaching about the Savior, Jesus Christ, and about His Father, our Father in Heaven.

For me, The Book of Mormon is, simply put, a source of life and light and truth and power and help and guidance and clarity.

It is amazing. It is true. It is of God.

I sometimes am speechless at its depth. We sometimes joke about reading something and thinking, "Was that there before?" but that really happens. A lot. The more I turn to that book for guidance about my life, my specific challenges, my relationships, my struggles, the more I find how amazing the book is. 2 Nephi 32:3, 5 tell us that

3 ^aAngels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, ^bfeast upon the ^cwords of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will ^dtell you all things what ye should do.

• • •

5 For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will ^ashow unto you all things what ye should do.

Reading the words of Christ opens up my mind and heart, lights my path, and brings the Spirit into my life. Whatever the words on the page may not say, the Spirit can fill in -- personalized messages and guidance from God for me and my life. The combination of the two, the words of Christ in the scriptures and the guidance of the Spirit, mean more to me than words can say. I cannot imagine facing the challenges of life without these two blessings.

The book is true. It is from God. It is a key way that He can speak to me and to you. If you have not discovered this amazing book for yourself, I invite you to do so. Seek for God's guidance as you read. Seek for His Spirit. You may not have a lightning-bolt experience. Some do, but for me, it's all been a drop-by-drop kind of thing. It took me years -- lots and lots of 'drops' -- to really come to the point when I could say, "I know it's true!" We each have to learn how God communicates with us and testifies to us of truth. (And it sometimes takes time to learn to trust that process.)

But you can come to know, as I know, that it is true. The book was written for us by ancient prophets, inspired of God. They were commanded by Him to write and protect the record so that it could come to us in these, the latter days of the earth before the Lord Jesus Christ comes again. The book is His book. It testifies of Him and helps us come to know Him better, and can help us come to Him as we follow its teachings.

Oh, how I love The Book of Mormon!

A Quote to Chew On (more "Hmmm")

My husband pointed this quote from Elder Christofferson out to me (given years ago), and it is something I have been mulling over for the past few days. I thought I would share it.

I think this ties into a discussion going on at Segullah blog (hence the Hmmm part of the title of this post -- see Justine's title). Is it possible that we might 'ask for it' when we think we are ready for growth, or even ask to develop a character trait (and then discover that trials come)? I tend to think that the trials in our lives really are (or at least can be) these kinds of opportunities for spiritual growth -- not as evidence of how awful we are (although we all are fallen -- there's a difference!), but as evidence of God's interest in our eternal progression (and of the fact that we really can't comprehend His ways or His thoughts). I suspect that what feels like the ultimate of difficulty or betrayal or trial to our mortal brains really would take on a different meaning in the eternal realms and if the veil was lifted from our minds.

So anyway, to me, it seems that Elder Christofferson is saying that if we ask how we should improve, we might (or will!) be shown how we need to! And that might leave us shaking in our boots if we were to know what might be required. Just before being called to the First Presidency, then-Elder Eyring came to our stake and said something similar. He invited us to ask for guidance on how we could improve, but then warned us to be ready to do what was asked. I can't help but wonder if sometimes the 'answer' to such questions could come in the form of trials.

Even when we don't deliberately ask, I do feel that trials come as the Lord sees we can handle them. I think they also come into play in ways that we can't see or comprehend, as our lives really are all intertwined. We often think so linearly, in time and also in experience ("x must have happened so I could learn y") when in reality, I think the broad view and the Eternal Now of God means to me that nothing can possibly be that simple. Therefore, in theory, I don't think we should be afraid of confessing the Lord's hand in all things, even our trials. In practice, I know that is a whole different ball game.

Since we are told that we won't be given more than we can handle, it seems to me impossible to deny that God is involved in some way in every aspect of our lives, even if that means to sit back and let the stuff of life unfold and happen as it will sometimes, without miraculous intervention that we might desire at the time.

I dunno...I'm just mulling thoughts over in my head. I'd be interested in yours. (It might be good to add comments over at Segullah -- I don't want to take away from that discussion. But this quote was too long to include over there, and I have wanted to share it for a while anyway, and here I can sort through some of my thoughts a little more. Just more mulling and musing. :) )

During that Last Supper with His Apostles, the Savior said:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

“Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit” (John 15:1–2).

What form that purging may take, what sacrifices it may entail, we probably cannot know in advance. But if with the rich young ruler we were to ask, “What lack I yet?” (Matt. 19:20), the Savior’s answer would be the same: “Come and follow me” (Matt. 19:21); be my disciple as I am the disciple of the Father; become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [you], even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).

President Brigham Young spoke understandingly of our challenge when he said:

“After all that has been said and done, after he has led this people so long, do you not perceive that there is a lack of confidence in our God? Can you perceive it in yourselves? You may ask, ‘Brother Brigham, do you perceive it in yourself?’ I do, I can see that I yet lack confidence, to some extent, in him whom I trust.—Why? Because I have not the power, in consequence of that which the fall has brought upon me. …

“… Something rises up within me, at times[,] that … draws a dividing line between my interest and the interest of my Father in heaven; something that makes my interest and the interest of my Father in heaven not precisely one.

“… We should feel and understand, as far as possible, as far as fallen nature will let us, as far as we can get faith and knowledge to understand ourselves, that the interest of that God whom we serve is our interest, and that we have no other, neither in time nor in eternity” (Deseret News, 10 Sept. 1856, 212).

Surely we will not be one with God and Christ until we make Their will and interest our greatest desire. Such submissiveness is not reached in a day, but through the Holy Spirit, the Lord will tutor us if we are willing until, in process of time, it may accurately be said that He is in us as the Father is in Him. At times I tremble to consider what may be required, but I know that it is only in this perfect union that a fulness of joy can be found. I am grateful beyond expression that I am invited to be one with those holy beings I revere and worship as my Heavenly Father and Redeemer.

Helping My Visiting Teachers Help Me

I was sort of dreading their visit. I mean, I've had a very difficult month (few years), and I was a little bugged that they hadn't been there. (One of my visiting teachers knew I had shingles, so it wasn't all about ignorance of my situation.)

But let's be honest, here. We do hear stories about people who are in tune just at the right time, and call just when you need it. And sometimes those people are the visiting teachers. Such stories are real and wonderful, but there are also times when our desperate pleas to God for someone to come aren't answered as we want them to be. Sometimes we just feel alone, with needs unknown, and that is hard.

In an ideal world, we'd all be so in tune that we would just know whenever the people in our circle of influence needed us.

But the fact is, that often doesn't happen.

It probably doesn't help that I'm the type who just keeps trying to keep on going, even when I might feel like I'm holding on by the skin of my fingernails. (Anyone else like that?)

Still, one thing that my struggle with chronic illness has taught me is that I can't expect people to read my mind, or to always be the ones to take the initiative to be an answer to my prayers and my needs. Make no mistake; I have had people there "just when I needed them" -- but many of those times, I have had to ask for their help, let them know I needed them.

This is what I did yesterday.

We started with the usual niceties, the 'how are you's and all of that. I tried not to be annoyed, but I was. (It's hard not to expect perfection when you are feeling needy.)

But good grief, one of the women doesn't even know me (and it goes both ways -- I couldn't have called her by her name yesterday...had forgotten it...and still can't remember her last name!) Our ward boundaries were recently changed, and she's got family calling situations that mean she's often not in church, so we really haven't gotten to know each other at all...let alone to have her know me enough to know when I'm not doing well, or even to pick up on the cues that I was trying to give. (We sometimes play dumb games with each other, don't we?)

Sooooo, once I got my kids in another room, I opened up. No, the fact that I had an x-ray on my foot scheduled later that day (the way I started the visit when they asked how I was) was the least of my concerns. I didn't tell them everything; sometimes the details aren't really necessary. But I did tell them point blank that things are hard for me right now. And I figured that since they are my visiting teachers, if anyone should know, it should be them.

Of course, the next question was, "What can we do to help you?"

"In a sense," I said, "there isn't anything specific you can do for me. I already have help with my kids in the mornings, which is my critical, tangible need so I can sleep [which I need to be able to function at all]. But sometimes it just helps to be able to go to church and have someone know that the usual 'how are you' as you pass in the hall isn't always going to be enough. It helps to have a few people in my world who can ask, 'How are you really?' and take the time to actually listen, and not be caught off guard if I burst into tears right then and there."

It wasn't in so many words, but that was the crux of it. And, you know, I think they were grateful that I would let them know. We simply can't expect those who are supposed to nurture us to figure it all out on their own. I am finding that there is no reason we have to wait for people to appear just when we need them. We can invite them in when we do, and I find that almost without exception, people are there, ready and willing to help where they can. And as I open my heart to others, it hastens the process of honesty, love, and service that allows hearts to be knit together.

So, if you happen to be in one of those times when you are pouring out your heart to God, wondering why no one is coming to your aid, considering praying about whom you can invite to aid you. I have found that there are blessings that can come from opening ourselves up in this way.

Service Opportunties: Family History and Spanish Indexing

I was just perusing Mormon Times and saw these two opportunities. One is to help with family history work at the BYU library and the other is to help do indexing in Spanish (they have processed 72 million family history names, but haven't had the response that they had hoped for to help get them entered). If you haven't signed up for indexing, it's easy! And it's the kind of service you can do in spurts. All you need is an internet connection and a computer.

Sooo, if you live in (or can easily travel to) Utah county and have 8 hours a week to spare, or especially if you can read Spanish, your help is really needed!

Thank You, Joseph Smith

Today is the anniversary of the martyrdom of Joseph Smith. I wanted to write a post to pay tribute to him.

It wasn't until my mission that I had a specific testimony of the prophet's divine call. That testimony was something I had desired for years. I knew he was a prophet because I knew the Book of Mormon was true. But as I taught people about the First Vision and saw the change in their countenances, and felt the Spirit as I taught, I gained my own testimony that he saw what he said he saw, and that he did indeed restore the true church of Jesus Christ to the earth.

I have since had other experiences that have strengthened that testimony. I visited the Sacred Grove where he was visited by God the Father and Jesus Christ. I was deeply moved when I visited Liberty Jail while living for a summer in the midwest. Later, I walked the streets of Nauvoo, reflecting on all that transpired in that great city of Joseph, the city beautiful. I saw his gravesite, his home. I attended church in the city. My spirit was sobered as I stood in the room at Carthage where the prophet and his brother were martyred. I stood in the place where the Church was organized in this dispensation.

I have also been moved by artistic expressions of faith. Music of the restoration such as Joseph Smith's First Prayer, An Angel from on High, The Morning Breaks, The Spirit of God, High on the Mountain Top, We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet, and many, many others, have brought the Spirit in a powerful witness that the restoration is real! The movie that the Church has made about Joseph Smith filled me with the Spirit, and with gratitude for his devotion and sacrifice. I also came to see him more as a person as well as a prophet by watching that film. Other church films, particularly those on the Church History collection, have become favorites as I watch them over and over again with my children, and we feel together the power of the Spirit bearing witness that Joseph Smith was indeed a prophet, and that this Church is true!

Recently, I attended a performance at the Salt Lake Tabernacle. called Joseph Smith, the Prophet. (If you go to byu.tv and download the Move Media player, you can watch a rebroadcast of the program that I just found out was shown today at 4 p.m. MDT.) What an amazing tribute! Music has a way of stirring my soul perhaps unlike almost anything else, and this was a presentation that reinforced my conviction that Joseph was called of God.

Even my current reading of an historical novel series from the time of Church history is strengthening my testimony of the prophet.

There are frequent quiet moments of personal study when the Spirit bears witness to my soul that what Joseph restored is real. I thrive on the feelings of light and truth that come when I feast on the words of God as they come through the scriptures and through living prophets and other inspired leaders of God in general conference messages. I repeatedly marvel at the simplicity of the gospel and its ability to change lives as I read the testimonies and experiences of people in our Church magazines. (My kids know that I can't read to them from The Friend without tearing up.) This is especially refreshing in contrast to the often unnecessarily complicated conversations that occur online, or are spurred on by enemies of the Church. Reading our Church materials helps me remember how simple it all really is. The Lord has said we should have faith like a child. Even a child can feel the truthfulness of the gospel, perhaps sometimes more than adults. (We sometimes want to make things harder than they are!)

Speaking of children, mine are like spiritual sponges. I love teaching moments in Family Home Evening, family scripture study, and just in those fleeting times during the day when the Spirit nudges me to take advantage of a chance to teach and testify. Even in a brief interaction, the Spirit can confirm to me that what I believe really is true. I see the light in my children's eyes and lives, too, as they are learning -- and coming to love and recognize the light and truth in this work. It's not that they don't have questions -- they do! But they are learning that we can find answers to many questions by trusting God and His prophets -- and that when we can't, we can trust that someday we'll understand. The key right now is to be faithful to what we do know, so we can learn and receive more -- and someday be received by the Lord.

I'll never forget my son's first experience with his testimony of Joseph Smith. It was Joseph Smith's birthday, and I think we watched a church video to celebrate it. He described the way he felt as something over 6,000 blankets (I can't remember the exact number) surrounding his heart. He's now nine, but he still clearly remembers that moment two and a half years ago.

There are few things that I love to do more than study and talk about the gospel. The gospel is the most important thing in my life. It brings light, joy, peace, and understanding to my life. It brings strength and perspective to me in my roles as wife and mother. It helps me in times of trial and fear. It helps me understand who I am, why I am here on earth, and a little of what awaits in the life to come.

When I set out to write this post, I wasn't sure what I would say, but now I realize that all that I love about the gospel reinforces my testimony of Joseph Smith. I am so grateful for what he did and for who he was.

The angel Moroni [who gave Joseph the plates that would be translated to be the Book of Mormon] once said to Joseph that his "name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people." I find that happens even within the Church, and surely without.

No matter. While some voices will always seek to defame him, I testify that he was and is a prophet of God. He stands at the head of this dispensation, a stewardship given him by the Lord Himself. I know that through him, the true Church of the Lord Jesus Christ was restored, with all its necessary authority, ordinances, and doctrines -- all that is necessary to bind us to Christ and make possible the eternal blessings of salvation and exaltation.

"Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it." (Doctrine and Covenants 135:3)

Dear Brother Joseph, someday I hope to be able to thank you face to face for all you did to bring forth the marvelous work and a wonder that is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will be eternally grateful for your life, your faith, your courage, your integrity, and your willingness to do all that you were asked to do, even in the face of opposition and even death. I love and honor you as a blessed servant of God.

Helping Our Children Stay Pure

This article is very sobering. I believe we as parents have a huge responsibility to try to control the content that comes into our homes, and try to keep a close finger on the pulse of their activities and friends outside the home.

But in the end, as a former bishop of ours said, "We can't just put them in an armored car. We have to help them put on the armor of God."

The only way I can really think to do this, to help my children know how to protect themselves, is to teach them doctrine, clearly and constantly and consistently and completely. One of my favorite quotes is from Pres. Packer:

True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.

The doctrines surrounding chastity are essential: Our bodies are sacred. The power of procreation is sacred and wonderful, but has strict commandments surrounding its use. Sex plays a central role in the plan of God. We are being tested and bombarded on all sides with the adversary's attempts to corrupt and undermine the plan by corrupting and twisting truths about chastity and all that law is meant to protect.

Also from Pres. Packer:

The plan of happiness requires the righteous union of male and female, man and woman, husband and wife. Doctrines teach us how to respond to the compelling natural impulses which too often dominate how we behave....

The single purpose of Lucifer is to oppose the great plan of happiness, to corrupt the purest, most beautiful and appealing experiences of life: romance, love, marriage, and parenthood.

When we read this Daily Herald article, we decided to have a clear discussion with our children about these things. While they still don't fully understand the "mechanics" of sexual intimacy, (and they didn't want a discussion that was too long :) ) they are coming to understand the doctrine. They know that keeping themselves pure is about keeping the Spirit with them. We hope as we continue to teach the doctrine, and keep an open dialogue about these sensitive topics, that they will be able to put on the armor of God and have the power within to resist the temptations that will inevitably come.

Shingles! (of the non-roof type) and Thoughts on Enduring Well

Yup. That may explain why I have been feeling so yucky as of late. The rash appeared after a couple of weeks of the yuck (more than my usual yuck). This will come out sounding almost unkind, but I'm grateful that my sister-in-law had shingles a month or so ago, because I then knew that you have to get diagnosed early in order to take the antiviral drugs. (Tender mercies coming via other people's trials? Yeah, I think sometimes it works that way!) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the residual effects will be minimal.

Thanks to all who have expressed concern and support the past while. I find that chronic illness brings with it layers of opposition; it can affect one spiritually, emotionally, mentally, socially, and, of course, physically. Adding this acute illness has on one level been a blessing (at least I could point to some reason why I was feeling worse!) but also a sort of added level of trial. It's been hard not to want to just say, "Can't I have a BREAK?" :)

But, you know, life isn't all about the stuff of life, about getting things done. It's about facing opposition with grace and faith, about enduring well. That's where I am. That's what I am working on.

I can't imagine facing the trials of life without an understanding of the plan of salvation, of the Atonement.

Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend.

Revealed truths reassure us that we are enclosed in divine empathy. As Enoch witnessed, we worship a God who wept over needless human misery and wickedness (see Moses 7:28–29, 33, 37). Jesus’ perfect empathy was ensured when, along with His Atonement for our sins, He took upon Himself our sicknesses, sorrows, griefs, and infirmities and came to know these “according to the flesh” (Alma 7:11–12)....

The Apostle Paul spoke from considerable personal experience when observing that “no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous” (Heb. 12:11). You and I are not expected to pretend chastening is pleasant, but we are expected to “endure it well” (D&C 121:8). Only afterward is “the peaceable fruit of righteousness” enjoyed by those who “are exercised thereby” (Heb. 12:11). But what demanding calisthenics!

Moroni said that only “after the trial of [our] faith” do we receive certain assurances and blessings (Ether 12:6). Taking Jesus’ yoke upon us really does help us learn of Him as we personally experience His special love for us (see Matt. 11:29). We also come to appreciate more His meekness and lowliness.

- Elder Neal A. Maxwell

In my recent post about "digging deep," I wrote rather vaguely, but these are the types of truths I have been mulling over. As a person who has always tended to thrive on 'getting things done,' for the past several years, I have had to learn more about 'enduring things well.' I know I'm not a special case with this exercise; I believe we all, at some point or another, will have our heart- and soul-stretching trials.

...President John Taylor said he heard the Prophet [Joseph Smith] say, "You have all kinds of trials to pass through, and it is quite as necessary for you to be tried even as Abraham, and other men of God. God will feel after you, he will take hold of you and wrench your very heartstrings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Kingdom of God (Journal of Discourses, 24:197)" (Harold B. Lee, Conference Report, April 1963, p.88).

Have you felt your heartstrings pulled, stretched, even wrenched? When we feel pushed to the limit, it's an opportunity to deepen the roots of faith, to remember the eternal purposes of God, to remember that if we endure well, eternal blessings can be ours.

...[P]eace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8)

This is what I am working on -- deepening those roots, trying to endure well what for me is a difficult time.

The restored gospel not only teaches us why we must be tested, but it makes clear to us what the test is. The Prophet Joseph Smith gave us an explanation. By revelation, he was able to record words spoken at the Creation of the world. They are about us, those of the spirit children of our Heavenly Father who would come into mortality. Here are the words:

"And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them” (Abr. 3:25).

That explanation helps us understand why we face trials in life. They give us the opportunity to prove ourselves faithful to God. So many things beat upon us in a lifetime that simply enduring may seem almost beyond us. That’s what the words in the scripture “Ye must … endure to the end" (2 Ne. 31:20) seemed to mean to me when I first read them. It sounded grim, like sitting still and holding on to the arms of the chair while someone pulled out my tooth.

(Hehe. That is such an image, and describes how I sometimes want to react to my trials. Apparently, I'm not alone.)

It can surely seem that way to a family depending on crops when there is no rain. They may wonder, “How long can we hold on?” It can seem that way to a youth faced with resisting the rising flood of filth and temptation. It can seem that way to a young man struggling to get the training he needs for a job to support a wife and family. It can seem that way to a person who can’t find a job or who has lost job after job as businesses close their doors. It can seem that way to a person faced with the erosion of health and physical strength which may come early or late in life for them or for those they love.

But the test a loving God has set before us is not to see if we can endure difficulty. It is to see if we can endure it well. We pass the test by showing that we remembered Him and the commandments He gave us. And to endure well is to keep those commandments whatever the opposition, whatever the temptation, and whatever the tumult around us. We have that clear understanding because the restored gospel makes the plan of happiness so plain.

Then-Elder Eyring reminds us in this talk that we simply can't do it alone. Trials give us the opportunity to turn to God for strength beyond our own (the talk is entitled, "In the Strength of the Lord"). Even as I type, I am reminded of the need to seek His help and strength more, to take times like this as an opportunity to deepen my faith and expand my experience with the power of the Atonement.

There. I feel better already.

If you feel like sharing, I'd be interested in hearing what scriptures, quotes, etc. help you hold on and hunker down when life gets hard and your faith is tested.

"[Radical] Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women...."

[I added the bracketed qualifier because I don't want to be misunderstood as dismissing all of feminism as a whole.]

This article is well worth a read...written by the daughter of an icon in radical feminism. I loved how she concluded the article:

Yes, feminism has undoubtedly given women opportunities. It's helped open the doors for us at schools, universities and in the workplace. But what about the problems it's caused for my contemporaries?

...I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations....

I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters - a happy family.

I appreciated how J. Max Wilson (to whom I owe the hat tip) tied the article into what Pres. Eyring's article said this month in the Ensign. I also appreciate his comments about the sacrifices of his mother. My mother made similar sacrifices, and I believe her choices will have positive influence and impact for generations to come. We are so fortunate to have the leadership of prophets who lead us in the path to eternal happiness.

I am struck by articles like this one that resonate with what the prophets teach -- that the most important things we will do in this life (and, should we add, in the next) will be related to family.