Monday, January 12, 2009

I just gotta write

I have had so much happen lately that my brain and spirit are on overload. I'm overwhelmed to the point of not being able to adequately express how grateful I am to God. I am coming to understand and feel of His love more in my life. And it's amazing.

I can't fully express it all, but I can at least record experiences that have clearly felt like His hand in my life.

(I recall this from Pres. Eyring, who talks of how writing helped him.)

Last week, for example, I had a *really* bad health day. I was able to function, but I thought I might lose my mind. My *other* ear (one has already been clogged for six years, so I'm used to that) clogged up, PLUS there was a constant, deep roaring that made me feel like I had a conch shell at my ear. A big one. It was awful. In the midst of this, I had to two doctor appointments (sleep has been horrible lately, so I was working on that, plus had follow-ups for tests done during the holidays).

By the time I got home, I was spent. I was also really, really discouraged. I just felt like I couldn't handle one more thing with my body going wrong. (I know I could if I needed to, but I really, really didn't want to. And yeah, there was that part of me looking up to heaven thinking, "Please, no. PLEASE?")

Anyway, given how I was feeling, I decided to clear my schedule for the next day (I had two things I was really looking forward to -- a lunch and a meeting for some really exciting volunteer work at the local university).

That night, I listened to my daughter's cough (one she has had for two weeks now) and decided I wouldn't have peace of mind if she didn't get seen by a doctor. She had been going to school, but it seemed like her cough may have even gotten worse. I wasn't sure, but I needed information.

She and I tried to guess what the doctor would say. My guess (in my 'I'm probably overreacting' self-talk) was that everything would be fine. Her guess (her fear was getting medicine) was that she would have to take something.

Imagine my surprise when, as I tried to defend my decision to bring her in, the doctor listened to her and said, "I think she has pneumonia."

Well, then.

"And a double-ear infection." [I had heard no complaints from her at all about her ears.]

Uh, yeah, I guess bringing her in was an ok idea.

I had prayed the day before to be able to accept the new symptom if I needed to experience it. Of course, I realize we never fully understand how things work, but I had the thought that had I not felt so awful the day before, had not cleared out my schedule, I might not have been able to get her in. Or I might have talked myself out of the appointment (ask hubby - it was not clear at all that she needed it).

(Oh, and I woke up with my ear not roaring anymore. Yea! I'll take that, and hope that it really was just something that helped my daughter, but not something I needed to experience for more than a day. :) )

I am trying to have more faith that things really do work together for our good.

I always love hearing other people's tender mercy stories, or ways that their faith grows, so if you want to share (or have a link you want to share), please do!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When I read your post title, m&m, I imagined you belting it out like Gene Kelly singing "GOT-TA DANCE! GOT-TA DANCE!"

You've got music in your soul and rhythm in your outlook today, and I was happy to read about it.