There's Hope for Clutterbugs Like Me!

This news piece made me smile. I especially liked this:

"We all function at different levels," says Organize By Design owner Jamie Tabish. "Some people do fine with piles. Some people do fine with things all over. Perhaps it's because internally they're very well organized, and their environment doesn't affect them as much."

So, that's it. I must be very internally well-organized. :)

Seriously, though, I have been bothered through the years with this standard "out there" that you have to have a clean house to be a good woman (a good member of the Church?) It may sound like a cop-out, but I don't have much of a knack for cleaning. I never have. That's not to say that I don't want to try to do what I can and that I shouldn't try to find ways to make improvements. But considering my lack of natural knack and chronic illness issues, it was nice to hear a "professional organizer" say that it's possible for me to still have some semblance of order in my chaos. I've never really had any expert give me permission to not be perfect in this way. So that article was a bit liberating for me. I've got enough I feel inadequate about that I don't need to feel like a hopeless failure because I'm not the best housekeeper in the world. After all, there's more to making a home than just cleaning, right?

And, you know what? I really can find things in my mess. It's when I clean that I lose stuff. :)

Innocence is Short-lived These Days

This was a poignant account from a mom about dealing with her children's questions and concerns (and her own concerns) when lesbians moved in next door. It's impossible to read this and not acknowledge that homosexuality can and does have an effect on children. At the very least, the story demonstrates the fact that innocence certainly doesn't have the life span that it used to, and that the ideological wars of adults often put children unwittingly in the crosshairs.

(Hat tip to Times and Seasons' sidebar for the link.)

Gay Rights vs. Parental Rights

I have been known to express concerns about the movement to push forward gay rights. This issue is always so tricky to discuss. It's not just "an issue" -- on either side, it involves real people with real concerns. Let me make it clear that I realize this. This issue is not far from my own life, as I have loved ones who live the often diffucult life of a homosexual. I know a little of the struggle that this can be, especially when compounded by a religious faith that doesn't support such a lifestyle. I am not cold-hearted about this, and yet I have strong feelings about the topic.

Some want to claim that anyone who takes a position against gay marriage is hateful, lacks compassion, and wants to force religion on other people. I think this is unfair. We need to be able to talk about the issue respectfully, and I rarely see that done. I also think that the issue is not as clear-cut and innocuous as gay rights supporters want to make it out to be, and this is something I want to address.

I thought I would share some of the reasons why I am concerned about the momentum gay rights are gaining in our country. To sum up some of my concerns: I think they might in fact be threatening the rights of others. In this post, my focus is on parental rights, particularly as they relate to school curriculum. If I can pull other thoughts together, I might address other concerns such as free speech and religious rights in future posts. (This is as much for me to clarify and consolidate my thoughts as it is to share them, so if all this does is boil your blood, perhaps you should just stop reading now. :) )

In Massachusetts (one of the states leading out in support of gay rights), U.S. District Judge Mark L. Wolf ruled that: "The constitutional right of parents to raise their children does not include the right to restrict what a public school may teach their children." Children as young as five (!!) have been exposed to information or concepts related to homosexuality, and parents have been told they cannot even opt their children out of such classroom teaching. They are basically told, "take it or leave it." Shouldn't taxpayers at one level, and parents especially, have some input or influence over school curriculum? Apparently not when it comes to homosexuality. (You can read the judge's written opinion here.)

(I wonder: Would the judge or the school demand that a parent "take it or leave it" if they were concerned about elements of the math curriculum or some other subject that doesn't involve such a hot-button topic? I have to doubt that they would....)

I find it interesting, though, that the same restrictions on parental rights don't seem to hold if generic religion is ever brought into the curriculum, even indirectly. Parents can protest such supposed
"offensive exposure" (think Pledge of Allegiance, for example), but when it comes to religious parents wanting to opt out of indoctrination that violates their religious beliefs, then the rights are restricted. I fear that the religion of the secular often gets favored status when it comes to "rights" -- and often at the expense of the rights of others.

I'm not thrilled that we have removed God from our schools and our public language. But I can understand wanting to give people the right to believe as they do and not make others' points of view feel "forced" on them. But then this needs to be consistent. I expect that I and my children should be offered the same right, including opting out of offensive teaching without being told to "hit the road." If we are going to protect those who don't believe and don't want their children exposed to religious belief, we ought to protect those who do believe and don't want to be exposed to things that violate their religious beliefs.

Another concerning situation has been discovered in Illinois. Freshman students at Deerfield High School were asked to sign a confidentiality agreement committing to keep secret the content in a "Freshman Advisory" class. They were told they couldn't even tell their parents! Students who didn't want to sign were basically pressured to do so (although apprently at least one student signed the document only after altering it). Apparently the content of this class around this time was focused on the gay agenda. (More information can be found here and here.)

Incidentally, giving a legal contract to a minor is illegal, so this agreement was either against the law or not legally binding. But would students know this (either way)? The contract surely appeared legal to these students, if not at least threatening. Clearly this was an effort to control and intimidate students to submit them to homosexual activism -- and then to deliberately hide it from the parents!

Apparently, this freshman class has also been used to teach about deviant heterosexual behavior. (Nevermind the fact that this is offensive content to many parents for a moment -- I fail to see what the academic justification for this is!) As parents and other concerned citizens started to realize that this class might not be something they wanted their youth to have, they requested to see copies of the materials for the class. Legally, this information should be accessible (per Illinois state law), but is kept behind a private portal of some sort. These requests for access to the class information have been denied.

Sooo.... Some questions I have swimming in my mind are these:

-If the gay agenda were simply about love and respect for all, why is there such deception and illegal and inappropriate control mingled with it? (NOTE: I speak collectively and not individually. I'm sure there are some who really only care about their personal lives and getting the rights they want. I am not addressing these people, but rather those who are behind such actions and motives as the above.)
-Why does this agenda include such devious efforts to get children exposed to and swayed by the bias of people who really have no right to tread on ground that is considered sacred to many? (Their motives seem highly suspect here and I think I could pretty accurately guess what their thinking is. And I am deeply concerned that they are willing to pull unsuspecting children into their battle. I still can't get over the fact that school officials, teachers, counselors, whoever would have the gall to demand that students be dishonest with their parents, knowing that many would be opposed to what was happening. I should add, too, that students who oppose such things are ostracized by other students. Where is the protection for them when they are harassed? Such harassment is never allowed toward gays. Again, another example of double standards with all of this.)
- What logic do gay rights activists hold to if, in their clamoring for rights they are willing to push the rights of religious people whose views differ to the side?
- If gay rights' activists protest the government's involvement in marriage and family life, why are they not bothered by the government's interference in the teaching of children on topics that for many are deeply religious -- a key element of their family life? The state's growing religion of secularism appears to me to be increasingly forced (without choice!) on more and more children. The whole reason for separation of Church and state as I understand it is to prevent compulsory, across-the-board indoctrination on religious principles. Since this issue involves religious principles for so many, a forced preaching of homosexuality seems to violate that principle in my mind. (Although I'm certainly no lawyer.) :)

In conclusion, it is very difficult for me to believe those who say that the gay rights movement doesn't or won't harm anyone, when from where I sit, I think they have already caused trouble. I can't help but think this is only the beginning of such trouble if we continue to let gay rights dictate the decisions made about what is and is not legal and appropriate. I think there is more to this issue than meets the eye.

----

A note about comments: I realize this is an issue many people are tired of discussing. If that describes you, please feel free to ignore what I have said. It might be better if you do. :) I also realize how strongly people can feel about this topic. I respectfully ask that any comments be about the information and the situations I have brought up, and not include personal attacks or bullying. If you have evidence to counter my concerns, by all means, feel free to share. I don't pretend to have a full understanding of this issue.

I do moderate comments. Inflammatory, attacking comments will either be edited or left out entirely. I don't expect that everyone will agree, and I'm open to listening to any point of view as long as it keeps on the topic at hand and I feel it remains respectful. Thank you.

Lehi's tent

I'm having a lot of fun mulling over Lehi's tent with a group of people at a new blog called BoM Groupies. I thought I would include some of my thoughts here that I included in a couple of comments there. (This will help me keep better track of what I'm thinking about and studying, too.) ;) (I don't want to distract from comments over there, though, so you can join in over at the BoM blog if you want to comment....)

Short summary: I read something from a BYU Studies on a CD I have about what has been called the axis mundi. Think "center" and "symbolic (and maybe literal) connection with heaven and earth" -- a place in a city (or a city) that was the center of religious, social, political and economic life. I'm particularly interested in the spiritual center, which often included a temple/place for religious ritual. Part of this was to suggest that Lehi's tent was actually like a temple. What I have studied is convincing me that this may very well be the case.

So here are some of my thoughts:

It struck me that this concept of axis mundi and the tent and what we are discussing relates directly to core (”central”) doctrines (many of which are covered by Isaiah):

-a standard (In Bedouin life, “A white flag,” we are told, “is sometimes hoisted above his tent to guide strangers and visitors. All visitors are led directly to the tent of the [sheikh].” (Thanks, Hugh Nibley (anyone opposed to Hugh Nibley around here?)
- gathering … the tent was a gathering place, a hub, especially for family but also for those invited to be with (to “have place” with) the family (this will be fun to discuss when we get to Zoram)
- councils, talking, teaching — this is a place where a lot of discussion and decision takes place
- Family — closely related to the previous two elements
- revelation (this was discussed in that quote I included above, as well as in other comments already made)
- temple-related elements (altars, sacrifice, teaching, ….that whole bridging the gap between heaven and earth)
— and, of course, the purpose of temples is two-fold 1) to gather us to Christ and to teach of the Atonement and bring the saving and cleansing power of the Atonement into our lives and 2) to gather us as families, and as the family of God
- refuge — the tent provided protection and refuge. Lots of potential symbolism there.


“And my father dwelt in a tent.” I’m beginning to think there is MUCH to learn from that little phrase. (I also think this all ties into the comment about the three things Lehi brought with him…family, tents, provisions (gotta live in this mortal sphere even as we are on a spiritual journey, right?)) Lots to learn, methinks. So fun to mull over.


Fleshing out a bit more about what happened in scriptures around the concept of the tent.

1 Nephi 2:6-7 -- sacrifices mentioned right after the tent is mentioned.

[Note also that teaching is mentioned in vs. 9 and 10. Although we don't know if time passed between the offering and the teaching, I like to see the combination of ritual and teaching together. Teaching can go with revelation above, perhaps.]

1 Nephi 3:1-2
Nephi returns to the tent after receiving revelation (he returns to the tent prepared?), and a discussion ensues about the revelation Lehi just received. I would assert that because of Nephi's preparation, he can accept the word of his father/the prophet as revealed with a soft heart, whereas the pattern of Laman and Lemuel's rebellion continues.

I see family, gathering, council/counsel and even temple application here (we should come to the temple with soft hearts, prepared to receive instruction (hard though it may be sometimes...and it will be less hard if our hearts are softened).

1 Nephi 5:7

The first thing he mentions about returning with the scriptures is that he goes to the tent. Again, family, gathering, revelation. (Sariah finally gets her testimony of her husband's prophetic calling at this time.) Comfort is also mentioned. Love that.

And, again, they offer sacrifices:
1 Nephi 5:9


1 Nephi 7:5 (also v. 21)

Ishmael and his family join the family of Lehi, and where do are they headed? To the tent! (Note that this happens after Ismael's heart was softened! Pattern there of a softened heart and going to the tent?) The tent was the focus, the destination, as they journeyed. It was what was on Nephi's mind. Interesting. (Temple, center of our thoughts? Our destination? Our focus?)

And look at 1 Nephi 7:22

There it is again!!!...gospel rituals right after the tent is mentioned.

1 Nephi 9:1

Revelation -- this comes after Lehi's vision. So a key vision that we still cling to today was received "as he dwelt in a tent." (Wish we knew what else he saw!)

1 Nephi 10:15-16

More prophecy and revelation!

v. 17 also is interesting to me...Nephi again seeks revelation. Ch. 2 and 3 shows Nephi receiving his revelation and softened heart, and then he goes to the tent. This chapter takes Nephi from the tent of teaching, and seeking revelation. So, I see going prepared to the tent and being ready to receive more, and coming away from the tent ready to seek confirmation and revelation.

And here he is again...receiving revelation and returning to the tent of his father immediately after. I sense a tight connection between Nephi and the tent and his father/the prophet.
1 Nephi 15:1
1 AND it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had been carried away in the spirit, and seen all these things, I returned to the tent of my father.

I wonder if this is significant:
1 Nephi 16:6-7
Tent and marriage right next to each other? Hmmmmm.....

And then Lehi receives the Liahona in v. 10. Does the temple help us receive our guiding Liahona, that gives us guidance according to our heed, faith and diligence?

Well, I'm very intrigued by the patterns I'm seeing. I think my thought is that the tent is significant. :)

(And here is some of that info from the BYU Studies article.)

This is a fun discussion! (Thanks again for letting me know about this blog, Isaiahsfan! I do hope that I’m not intruding in discussions among longtime friends.)

This discussion about Lehi’s tent brought to mind some things I had read a couple of years ago about the “axis mundi.” This reference will be long, but I hope it’s interesting to you as it was to me. (If this is too cumbersome, please let me know how it might be better to share information in the future.)

I included more than just what relates to Lehi’s tent because I think it can possibly shed light on patterns in the OT as well (and also the ancient elements of the BoM). Might it also shed light on the importance of “centers” and temples in the latter days. ?? Food for thought, anyway.

Ancient world civilizations believed that the perceived order of territorial environment, in its “natural” and built-up features, revealed the structure of a sacred universe. The epitome of this symbolic order was a capital city or ceremonial center. “In those religions which held that human order was brought into being at the creation of the world there was a pervasive tendency to dramatize the cosmogony by constructing on earth a reduced version of the cosmos, usually in the form of a state capital.”

The specific features of this model of spatial organization vary from culture to culture but can be generally expressed in terms of three principles: centripetality, cardinality, and inductance. Centripetality is the notion that terrestrial space was created from and ordered by an “existentially centered point.” This center or “navel of the earth” was considered to be the point of contact between heaven and earth [this is a point that I find very interesting to this discussion], the most elevated place on earth and the point at which the creation of the earth began. The construction of a temple or other holy sanctuary celebrated the sacredness of the axis mundi. Rituals and other observances were performed in those holy places to preserve the parallelism of the macrocosmos (heaven) and the microcosmos (earth). Natural, political or social catastrophe often succeeded in dislocating the axis mundi. When this occurred, the holy of holies was likely relocated to another site declared auspicious by the ritual leader of the group.

[This gives some historical background; the author’s purpose was largely to show the ancient roots of the BoM. Following is the connection with Lehi’s tent.]

One of the recurring themes in the Book of Mormon is the establishment and maintenance of a centralized social and territorial order. The Book of Mormon narrative opens in Old Jerusalem during the reign of Zedekiah with the minor prophet Lehi preaching that the city of the Jews is about to be destroyed because of the wickedness of its inhabitants. The citizens respond by trying to kill Lehi; consequently, he flees with his family into the wilderness. They do not leave, however, without first receiving the promise of being guided by God to another land of promise, “a land choice above all other lands,” to establish another axis mundi.

Having abandoned their traditional, though profaned, sanctuary, Lehi’s company constructs a temporary axis in the wilderness: Lehi’s tent. That Lehi “dwelt in a tent” is mentioned fourteen times in the desert narrative and appears at critical events in the historical sequence: after Lehi reported his “dream of the tree of life” and after Nephi reported his vision of the promised land (1 Ne. 8:11-14); after Lehi’s sons acquired the Hebrew scriptures from a corrupt religious leader in Jerusalem and after additional refugees from Jerusalem joined Lehi’s company (1 Ne. 4; 7:1-5); and on the occasion of essential observances of the Mosaic law (1 Ne. 2:6-7; 6:7-9; 7:22). Lehi’s tent thus secured contact with the heavens, despite the nomadic existence of his following, and allowed him and his people to continue in confidence toward the promised land.
Steven L. Olsen; BYU Studies Vol. 23, No. 1, pg.82

Since we are in ch. 2, note what happened right after he pitched the tent:
6 And it came to pass that when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.
7 And it came to pass that he built an altar of stones, and made an offering unto the Lord, and gave thanks unto the Lord our God.

A bit more on this as we look forward toward more readings in the BoM (from the same source, a couple of pages further on) :

The image of the center as a holy mountain was also established early in and maintained throughout the Book of Mormon. In relation to the wilderness Jerusalem was always “up,” while the wilderness in relation to Jerusalem was either “down” or “into” (1 Ne. 3-7, passim). Once in the promised land, the people always went “up” to the temple and to the “lands of our first inheritance” (Jacob 2:11; Mosiah 1:18; 2:1-11; 7:2-4; 20:7; 28:1; 29:3; Alma 17:8; 20:2; 24:20; 26:23). Finally, the elevated status of the kingdom of God was emphasized in millennial imagery and ecstatic experiences, such as Nephi’s vision of the promised land (1 Ne. 11:21; 17:7). In the nearly thousand-year period that this civilization occupied the promised land, four successive centers were established–Lehi, Nephi, Zarahemla, and Bountiful. Except for the land of Lehi, in which Lehi’s tent served as the axis mundi, a temple was established at each center. Ritual officials were appointed to perform the prescriptions of the Mosaic law, with major observances, such as renewal ceremonies, occurring at the temple. Important sermons were also delivered to the community from the temple (2 Ne. 5:10, 16; Mosiah 2:5; Jacob 2-5; 3 Nephi. 12-17).

He goes on to talk about how the development and growth of cities (surrounding the center) corresponded to righteousness, and how destruction of cities (and ultimately no more civilization) was tied to wickedness. I think keeping an eye on this concept of “centers” and the role they played in Nephite civilization might be interesting as we move forward.

Pray for Peace

(I was hoping to get this out earlier this week, but my to-do list has been seriously disrupted by a whopping case of bronchitis. Sorry for the lateness of this post.)

Today is a day of fasting for those of my faith (although, wouldn't you know it, in our particular area, we had our fast day last week because we have different meetings this week). Anyway...I was asked to post something about a day of prayer and fasting for world peace...that our leaders will be able to find peaceful solutions to the conflicts that rage.

There are a host of opinions about the war in Iraq and foreign policy in general. I like to think of this faithful effort as something beyond any political points of view. I think any of us, regardless of specific feelings about the war, ultimately want peace. I hope we can include that hope in our thoughts and prayers today.

As for me, I hope we can have peace domestically as well. I don't think the angst and divisiveness that surrounds this issue is helpful toward the overall goal of peace, either. I hope for more peace in the United States as well as in the world at large.

If you feel so inclined, you are invited to join in the effort to pray for peace today.

What are Your Antioxidant Levels?

Mine are at 31,000. Does that sound impressive? Well, I found out they should be at 50,000 to 100,000. Of course, the company who sponsored the screening will let me pay big bucks to up those numbers by buying their product. (I'm considering it, although I don't get into taking lots of pills to "make me healthier.")

I found all of this out at my children's school's science fair. It was obvious that the child with this particular project didn't do most of the thinking for the event; nevertheless, I found the information interesting, so I stuck around.

I was interested in the foods that provide the most antioxidants, and thought you might be, too.

* Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity (ORAC units per 100 grams) in parentheses (I sound smart, huh? I found these numbers here.)

Fruits
Prunes (5770)
Raisins (2830)
Blueberries (2400)
Blackberries (2036)
Strawberries (1540)
Raspberries (1220)
Plums (949)
Oranges (750)
Red Grapes (739)
Cherries (670)

Veggies
Kale -- anyone know a good way to use this? (1770)
Spinach (1260)
Brussel Sprouts (980)
Alfalfa Sprouts (980)
Broccoli Florets (930)
Beets (890)
Red Bell Peppers (840)
Onions (710)
Corn (that one surprised me) (450)
Eggplant (390)

The display provided a list of other foods, but the link didn't work. That list included kidney and pinto beans as well. (Whooda thunk?) I've heard that chocolate is a good source of antioxidants (Hershey must love that research), so I'm including chocolate on my list of things to eat more of! (Waha.) I'm thinking of trying to infuse our diet with a few more of these things and getting my "levels" tested in a month or two. Or I suppose I could save the hassle and just buy the pills.... :) (Hmmm...do I sense an experiment of my own in the making....?)

(UPDATE: Chocolate (oh, baby) tops the list of ORAC units at 13120 for dark and 6,740 for milk. Wahoo!)

Source for these data: U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Journal of the American Chemical Society.

p.s. 'Nother update: This site has more foods listed, and, interestingly, some beat the ones above. So here's Web MD's view on this topic. (I was told last nite that not all antioxidants are created equal; some are more fundamental than others.?? I'm no expert, and always a bit skeptical when there is a product hiding behind someone's motives, so I'll go with the list for some good info for now.)

Small Red Bean (dried), Half cup (13727)
Wild blueberry, 1 cup (13427)
Red kidney bean (dried), Half cup (13259) (Well, chocolate still comes in pretty high!)
Pinto bean, Half cup (11864)
Blueberry (cultivated), 1 cup (9019)
Cranberry, 1 cup (whole), 8983
Artichoke (cooked), 1 cup (hearts) (7904)
Blackberry, 1 cup, 7701
Dried Prune, Half cup (7291)
Raspberry, 1 cup (6058)
Strawberry, 1 cup (5938)
Red Delicious apple, One (5900)
Granny Smith apple, One (5381)
Pecan, 1 ounce (5095)
Sweet cherry, 1 cup (4873)
Black plum, One (4844)
Russet potato (cooked), One (4649)
Black bean (dried), Half cup (4181)
Plum, One (4118)
Gala apple, One (3903)

So, there you go. I think it's interesting to see the comparative numbers, and to think of ways to use a variety of foods to increase antioxidant levels. Of course, foods not on this list have their own value as well (like whole grains, or bananas). Gotta love reinforcement for a balanced, Word-of-Wisdom consistent diet. :)

The Right Road?

There are some people who knew exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up, even as children. I was not one of those people. I knew I wanted to go to college, and thought I had a good direction when I began, but it didn't take long to realize that my plans weren't for me -- but I didn't know what should replace them. I felt a bit directionless, even purposeless at times.

I started as a Computer Science major. From there, I fluctuated between Family Science and Statistics, considering basically everything in between. (I ruled out business because I KNEW I wasn't interested in that. I'll have to share that story for another day: I got my Master's degree in business!)

Long story short, my first semester of my junior year, I finally took a leap and declared Psychology as my major. I was petrified that I would hit yet another brick wall in my gut as I had with so many other directions I had tested. I was worried about doing what was "right" for me (what "God wanted me to do"). All I wanted to know is if this was "right."

I sought a blessing from my dad. It started off rather generic. I remember him telling me that I could seek direction in prayer as needed. (OK, I knew that. I really, really wanted an answer NOW, though!) Then it happened. I could tell that the Spirit took over and my dad told me that the decision I had made was good and right. (Woo hoo!) BUT--and this was a BIG but that has stuck with me through nearly two decades--he told me that (I can hear my dad's voice saying words like these): "The Lord would have you know that there are many paths you could take and still accomplish your work on the earth." Wow. What a lesson that was. This WAS a good decision, but it wasn't the ONLY right decision for me.

Now, I'm not sharing this to say that there aren't some times in life when there isn't a direction that is capital-R Right. In addition, I believe that there may be paths in our lives that might be Better than others. I believe with all of my heart that the Lord can and will guide us in our decisions along the way if we seek His help in faith. But I have never forgotten that blessing. For all my desire to "do what is right" and to follow the Lord's will, sometimes He doesn't have One Right Path that I Must Take Or Else.

When I get the chance to talk to young college students, as I sometimes do, I always share the following quote with them (one from my kinda-oldies-but-goodies collection:)

In the past, I have tried to figure out whether I should go into business or into teaching, or into the arts, or whatever. As I have begun to proceed along one path, having more or less gathered what facts I could, I have found that if that decision was wrong or was taking me down the wrong path – not necessarily an evil one, but one that was not right for me – without fail, the Lord has always let me know just this emphatically: ‘That is wrong; do not go that way. That is not for you.’

On the other hand, there may have been two or three ways that I could have gone, any one of which would have been right and would have been in the general area providing the experience and means whereby I could fulfill the mission that the Lord had in mind for me. Because He knows we need the growth, He generally does not point and say, ‘Open that door and go twelve yards in that direction, then turn right and go two miles….’ But, if it is wrong, He will let us know – we will feel it for sure. I am positive of that. So, rather than saying, ‘I will not move until I have this burning in my heart,’ let us turn it around and say, ‘I will move unless I feel it is wrong; and if it is wrong, then I will not do it.’ By eliminating all of these wrong courses, very quickly, you will find yourself going in the direction that you ought to be going, and then you can receive the assurance: ‘Yes, I am going in the right direction. I am doing what my Father in Heaven wants me to do because I am not doing the things He does not want me to do.’ And you can know that for sure. That is part of the growth process and part of accomplishing what our Father in Heaven has in mind for us. (John H. Groberg, BYU Speeches of the Year, 1979)

I have a dream...

(by JJ, my dear son)....

That all the wars will stop. I hope that there will be more peace. I also hope that everyone will be frends [sic]. I hope that all who are sick will get better. And all those who have trobles [sic] that they will be solved. And that everyone will be happy. :) [Smileyface in original.]

Perhaps yet another example of why we are told to be as a child....

The Best Laid Plans...

OK. So Christmas plans went well. But the rest of the week was insane. All of our plans completely unraveled. We were supposed to have company, and they got sick. We had to be careful about the sick thing because we were going on vacation to be with hubby's family (and didn't want to risk getting all of them sick) -- and then that ended up not happening. At the first of the week, I was nearly pulling my hair out with frustration, like "Why are things not working?" But it didn't take long for it to became clear that, as crazy as it sounds, the Lord's hand was in the sickness and the many, many changed plans. We have witnessed tender mercies GALORE in our friends' lives (the ones who never got to stay at our house), we experienced some tender mercies of our own, and I have been taught again about trusting in the Lord.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. [Make plans, yes, but don't worry if things don't work the way you planned! "All things work together for good to them that love God." Romans 8:28)] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they
paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

(P.S. There might be more to come on this amazing week!)

The Power of One Dollar

This story will warm your heart. It reminds me of one of the talks given in the Priesthood session of Conference that I recently read. Elder Stanley Ellis says:

I was studying the parable of the talents. You remember the story. A man needed to go away, so he entrusted his servants with his goods. One received five talents, another two, and the last received one. Upon his return, he asked for an accounting. The servant who received five and returned ten, as well as the one who took two and returned four, were declared good and faithful servants. But what caught my attention was the servant who received one, took care of it, and returned it safely back to his lord. I was surprised by the response of the master: “Thou wicked and slothful servant, … take therefore the talent from him, … and cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness”! (See Matt. 25:14–30.)
This seemed to be a harsh reaction to one who seemed to be trying to take care of what he was given. But the Spirit taught me this truth—the Lord expects a difference!

I've Been Tagged!

OK, so Naiah tagged me and now I need to share five things about me that you may not know. Since you don't know much about me, that really shouldn't be hard....

I can recite the names of all of the children in my kindergarten class. In alphabetical order. On demand (if I'm in the mood). I've performed this amazing feat for at least one ward talent show. I think it's one of the things that impressed my husband most about me....

I graduated from BYU with two degrees (over a course of six years), without finding a husband. (That was not for lack of trying, mind you!) I joke that I should have received a tuition refund....

I can touch my tongue to my nose. My youngest child is pretty proud that she also shares in this amazing talent. (Wow. Two hidden talents revealed in one post. Are you impressed?)

I served in a mission in South America in the same country where my father served, where his father served, and where my parents are now serving.

I recently discovered that the boys over at ABEV are not-too-distant cousins of mine. We have the same great-great grandparents. (If they don't want people to know that they are related to me, then pretend you don't know.) :)

I want to tag Téa, Tigersue and my pear-tickling friend, if they are up to playing. :)

Mortal Life Teaches of Christ's Life

A few years ago, I attended a BYU Religion class taught by Todd B. Parker. He gave a lesson that has always stuck with me. It was based on 2 Nephi 11:4, which teaches us that "all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him." This is something Wade touched on in a post in July (well worth the read). I wanted to expand upon Wade's post to discuss how not only elements of the gospel, scripture and so forth testify of Christ and His life and mission, but also how we can find Him in our day-to-day lives, and in the world around us. Life can teach us about His life--which encompasses not only His years in mortality, but includes His characteristics, and His eternal roles and mission.

The Fire Within

I've been on a roller coaster the past while. Obviously. But I have to say that right now I feel on fire. Although physically I'm feeling half dead, spiritually I'm soaring. It's all in a quiet kind of a way. I'm not walking around with a constant burning in my bosom or anything like that. But I feel so grounded, so settled. I've always been a passionate gospel-loving, prophet-following person, but my testimony of the importance of all of this just keeps growing. There is so much safety and protection from clinging to the words of the prophets -- like I would if I were hanging over a cliff with only a thick root jetting out from the cliff's wall to hold on to. Experiences I have had, insights that have come, and the Spirit's confirming power just tighten my grip on that root, the rod, almost daily. I can't fathom life without this anchor, this compass, this Rock-solid guide in my life. My latest couple of pieces at A Prayer of Faith give a glimpe into more of my thoughts. I am reminded that the way is so easy. All we have to do is give heed to the word of God (represented by BOTH the iron rod and the Liahona -- there is no difference!) and we can be safely led to our land of promise - now and eternally.

That's all I have time for tonight, but I hope to pull together more thoughts on this soon.

I'm Not Dead Yet

I think I have figured out what was wearing me out with the whole blogging thing, and have decided I'm not going to quit here at my personal blog, although I'll probably be just as sporadic here as before. :) I just needed to stop getting involved in involved discussions that usually went nowhere and left me drained. If you still find me here and there, it's because I'm not fully gone, but just scaled back. :) To those of you who offered support along the way as I was figuring things out, I offer you my heartfelt thanks. :)

Retirement?

Alas, it may be that my blogging days are coming to an end. M&M is tired. The question is, is this an early or late retirement? Hmmmmm..... For the blogging world, it's probably about right. Will it be permanent? I guess only time will tell. You can still find me on A Prayer of Faith, however, and maybe occasionally on Blogger of Jared. (Can a retired blogger contribute to a site that has that word in its name? Hee hee...ha ha.) It's been interesting, to say the least....

MHF

Just to give you an idea of how amazing my children are....

Today I had a hard day. (It seems I have had a lot of those lately. Ugh.) Anyway, I try hard to not let the children see when that is the case, but today I just needed to curl up and have a good cry. I sneaked upstairs while they were downstairs playing ping pong with their dad and closed the door so I could have a few minutes to myself. Within minutes, though, hubby came in and they followed, and, well, I just told them I wasn't feeling good today. (It was one of my not-so-good days physically.)

They left me to stay curled up for a bit. A little while later, though, they came upstairs saying that I needed to come to their playroom. They were very anxious to show me something.

I was simply stunned (and deeply touched) by what they had been working on.

On the wall in their playroom, they had taped a sign that says, "MHF" -- which stands for "Mom's Helping Friends." They had gathered together and made a list of about eight different things they could do to help Mom, from making me cards to letting me sleep to not having contention.

It's not hard to imagine how much my heart melted. The empathy and compassion that my children have developed through this trial of mine -- er, ours -- is sometimes almost breathtaking to me. While I should be feeling guilty that they were the ones nurturing me at that moment, I don't (or I can't) because this is where I am. And this is who they are.

MHF is an exclusive club, by the way. Only children with my last name are allowed. I overheard that they will be holding weekly meetings on Saturdays....

Life may be hard for me right now, but I have three little blessings for whom I am very, very grateful.

Home Teaching Lesson, Detours Included

HT: What is going to happen in a couple of months? You are going to be baptized.
DS: Yes, in January. You can come if you want.
HT: Thank you. I will. Why are we baptized? We are baptized because Jesus showed us the way.
DD: We have a picture and a statue of Jesus right there. Did you know that my aunt painted that picture?
HT: Wow, she's a good artist. That's a great picture (said more like pitcher).
DD: It's not a pitcher. A pitcher is what you use to pour water. It's a pick-shur.
Mom: Yes, she's the one who reminds us that it's "CosTco" not "Cosco."
But let's let our home teacher finish his lesson. It's an important one for DS.
Dad: As an aside, Brother So-and-So has always been teased by his children because he says the days of the week, "Mondee, Tuesdee,...."
HT: Well, those of us who come from the southern part of the state talk different. You know why? Because the Danes settled in that area. It was called "Little Denmark."
Dad: Really? Do people still speak Danish there?
HT: No, but my dad and grandad did. They went on missions to the Norweigan countries, so they spoke the Norweigan languages.
BUT, back to the lesson on baptism....

(By now, I was laughing. DD#2 took us on another detour later on...wish I could remember it all, but it was all pretty funny. We did end up having a nice lesson, though.) :)

Sometimes I Still Cry A tribute for Breast Cancer Awareness Month

She died over a year and a half ago.

Her cancer had returned. This time, it attacked not her breast but her liver and lungs. (That's never a good thing, as you well know.)

She was in my ward. I didn't know her that well, and yet I feel as though I really did. She had been our Relief Society President for only a few short months when the devastating news arrived. How could it be? No, please, no.

We had all fallen in love with her. She was unassuming, genuine, loving, faithful, approachable. She invited every sister who would come over to her house for some gathering. For the mothers of young children, it was a breakfast. She wanted to know about our lives, our thoughts, our suggestions. She even implemented one of my suggestions in a Relief Society class.

She was a mother of nine, eight of whom were living. She was an exemplary wife and mom, focusing her energies and time on building Zion within her home. (If you didn't know how humble and wonderful she was, you would be intimated by her. But you couldn't be intimidated. You just couldn't because of who she was.)

When her cancer came back, we as a ward mourned. We prayed. We fasted. We reached out in love as much as we could. Her family reached back, and shared intimate details of their struggle with us. We received regular emails updating us on their journey. They decided that they would open up their usually-private life so we could exercise our faith better, and so we could travel with them. It was one of the most unifying things I have ever experienced in a ward.

And it was one of the most tender experiences of my life. I felt a love and concern and connection with her and her family that has remained to this day, even as their life has moved on. And the experience reached a deep, deep part of my soul.

Part of the reason I connected so much is because so many of the struggles she had were struggles I was having, just in a different context, and perhaps to different degrees. I understood struggles with fear, concerns about the future and life and family and all of those things that surface when your health is in question. I was pretty sure that I didn't have cancer, but there were still so many unknowns, so many concerns that were the same. I just empathized with her--and she did with me.

I will never forget the day that I left an Enrichment class and went into one of the alcoves that leads to the stage -- to cry. I couldn't handle the normalcy with which the presenter was talking about getting up just a little bit earlier to exercise. That may sound silly, but she could never understand what a little bit more sleep could do for someone like me. She couldn't know how much I missed my normal life when I was a runner and could sacrifice sleep. She didn't know how hard it was when life just isn't normal. It was a straw for my camel that night, and I lost it. (Part of why I was so close to tears anyway was because I had had an abnormal brain MRI, and I was beyond worried.)

So who was the one who came to comfort me and to listen? You guessed it. Here she was, facing the possibility that her cancer would not go away this time around, and she was listening to me sob and vent my concerns and doubts and fears. Of course, it's because she understood. As I apologized for complaining about my life, given what her life entailed, I realized that the severity of her trials didn't change what my trials were to me. (We can't compare suffering.) She never made me feel that she "won" because her health problems were worse. She just cared.

As things continued to get worse in her life, we as a ward continued to exercise our faith together. Between pregnancy, nursing and health issues, I have only fasted once or twice in the past eight years or so, and one of those times was for her. We had very specific purposes to our fasting and prayers, and I felt strongly that we were exercising faith in a way that was pleasing to heaven. I had the sense that if she passed away, it would have to be God's will, because we were truly doing all we could do.

During this time, she would openly share her doubts and concerns and questions in Relief Society. These were the times I felt that much closer to her. I know that no one really knew what to say, but oh, how I could understand the questions she asked, because I had many of the same ones. What do you do with blessings that don't seem fulfilled? How do you exercise your faith? I think in the end she really understood the answers. Faith is not about getting what we want. It's about submitting with faith and trust to whatever God's will was. Ultimately, we have faith in Him and in nothing else.

God's will was made clear. She deteriorated rapidly in the end. She slipped peacefully into eternity on the day that I had anticipated finally going to her home to say my last and personal goodbye. (I hadn't done it sooner for fear of intruding on very necessary family time.)

She actually chose to wait a couple of hours before moving on, until her oldest daughter arrived from out of town. The family then sang a couple of hymns, then prayed, then let her go.

I have no doubt that she passed her test. And in doing so, she gave those around her more strength and desire to do the same. This journey was one filled with light, peace, understanding and hope. As she and her family shared the journey with us, they strengthened our testimonies about the truthfulness of the gospel and the plan of salvation. It all reached me so deeply that I will never be the same.

I miss her. I love her. And I will be forever grateful for the influence she had on my life.

And, so, sometimes I still cry.

Resourcefulness Rocks!

I was dead tired today. My plan was to spend most of the day on the couch. (I've had too many couch days lately. Not fun.)

I forced myself to go out and take a walk. (Gotta get exercise! Besides, sometimes it helps me get a little more energy.) As I headed off to our neighborhood track, I remembered that we had a project that HAD to be done today (the source of materials for our project will be disappearing Monday). I suggested to my husband that this could be our exercise for the afternoon. It took a few minutes to convince him that my idea wasn't completely crazy, but finally, he relented.

And so, we spent the next two and a half hours hauling rocks from the construction site next door. We are using them as decorative rocks in our what-is-usually-a-weed-bed on the side of the house. Hubby's skepticism faded quickly. He wants to put rocks in all of our sorta-flower beds (often more weedy than flowery) now! And, hey, you can't beat the price! (Although we may not be able to move tomorrow....)

Besides the rejuv that can come from working hard, getting fresh air, and focusing on a major project, what may have topped off our evening was the fact that this was a family affair. All three children pitched in, carrying rocks in their tiny plastic wheelbarrows, their shirts, and even the secret compartment on a princess big wheel. It was long after the sun had set that we finally went inside to shower, eat (late dinner, yes) and head to bed. (The children didn't want to go in. Their determination and hard work warmed my heart.)

The snapshot moment of the evening: I was pulling a heavy-laden wheelbarrow, and my children helped by pushing. I mentioned feeling like I was pulling a handcart, and my children broke into song. "Come, come ye saints, no toil nor labor fear...." Priceless.

Friday the 13th

I'm not a superstitious person; nevertheless, I hesistated when we decided to induce on the 13th of October to get #3 here. (My body doesn't do labor well. My babies are big (two over nine pounds) and I'm not so big.) I felt horrible that every six years this precious person would have a birthday on Friday the 13th.

Well, fortunately, #3 didn't notice today. I think the birthday part of the day was a success.

However, it WAS a Friday the 13th for me. (Although, remember, I'm not superstitious.) But, what was up with today? :)

How was your Friday the 13th?

(And since I have had a bad day, please refrain from telling me I'm an awful mother for inducing or, worse, for inducing on the 13th of the month.) ;)